And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
