i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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