I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
