Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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