If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
