We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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