I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
