They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
