break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
