you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Randomize
