Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
