??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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