my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Randomize
