He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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