I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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