She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
