wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
