we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
