9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
