brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
