you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i think im in europe. pls send help
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
