I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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