im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
