We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Alive.
So much puke
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
