It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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