mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
