omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
