I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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