You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
