Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
