She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
