HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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