you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
