I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
