I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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