i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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