No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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