do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize