Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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