It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
