We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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