Swine flu. Run for my life!
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
