a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
