Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
