im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Terrible idea I love it
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
