How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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