Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
