Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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