I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Randomize
