So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
