Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
