She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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