I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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