guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
