i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
