just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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