is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize
