Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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