if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
