Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
