Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
