those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
