We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
