I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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